Temple Beth El Blog

Those fortunate enough to have attended the Social Action Shabbat last month were amply rewarded with the compelling and impassioned presentation of the guest speaker, Sagashus Levingston, author of Infamous Mothers: Women Who’ve Gone through the Belly of Hell . . . and Brought Something Good Back. The book became an affecting play at the Bartell Theatre that delivered sellout performances. Many of us were intrigued, so I interviewed Sagashus to learn more of her story. She moved to Madison from the Bronzeville neighborhood of Chicago about 13 years ago to pursue an MA in African American studies and a PhD in American literature. But she was not a typical graduate student. She was a single mother whose sixth child was born shortly after she became a dissertator. The circumstances of wrestling with mothering and studying were simultaneously challenging and motivating.

With research that focused on feminism and activism, Sagashus found that the academic literature lacked the voices of women like herself—mothers who were both seen as “reprehensible” while also making a positive impact on society. While a grad student, she worked on curriculum development for UW–Madison’s Odyssey Junior project to help children of color and poverty improve their reading and writing ability and encourage their higher educational goals. In so doing, she encountered women in the adult Odyssey program whose voices and stories were perfectly aligned with stories she was already collecting from mothers: those who had been seen as “setting feminism back” by making the choices they had made. Sagashus wanted to make sure that their stories made it into the archives of academia.

Realizing that such stories “could be used to invite conversation,” she worked with a photographer and designer to create a conscious juxtaposition between the handsome crafting of Infamous Mothers as a coffee-table book and the very raw stories of the women depicted within it, told in their own words. Sagashus collected these accounts from mothers she encountered in Madison and those with whom she grew up in Bronzeville, including her own mother and her aunts. She sought to emphasize the contrast between the rawness of the stories and the beauty of the storytellers in order to “interrupt the preexisting rhetoric.” The faces of these women more often are seen in mug shots and on the news with their hair sticking up, caught at their most vulnerable moments. Sagashus wanted photographs that represented how these women would like to be seen, to confront preconceived perceptions quickly and unexpectedly.

Sagashus crowd-funded the self-publishing of the book even before completing her dissertation, in which the stories figured prominently. Meant to be more “informative” than “a good read,” the book itself has a pedagogical component: to build community around issues and topics. Social justice is important to her; she grew up with a mother who was a community organizer and activist. Sagashus ingested her mother’s approach and similarly responds to what needs to be done.

Once the Infamous Mothers project ended, the women with whom Sagashus worked wanted to keep going, and although she could see “that they wanted me to be some sort of bridge,” she wasn’t sure how to play that role. Her determination to build that bridge led her to become an entrepreneur in the for-profit venture known as Infamous Mothers University (IMU). Sagashus chose the for-profit route because she did not want to compete with nonprofits in the community that she provided programming for, but ultimately, she wanted to have the financial means to extend their capacity. She has found great support working with the Doyenne Group, a Madison- and Milwaukee-based organization that supports women from all backgrounds as entrepreneurs in both launching and further developing their businesses.

Similarly, IMU works to help women build mothering practices that honor who they are both privately and publicly, whether they are entering the workplace or moving up the career ladder. That support helps them balance the challenges of managing both family and career. IMU simultaneously provides diversity, equity, and inclusion workshops to corporations aware of the needs of the working mothers they employ. Sagashus hopes that IMU will become the link between what the nonprofits do for the women and the wider world into which they are moving without that support system.

Currently, Sagashus is engaged in producing a documentary that, in part, focuses on the incarceration of women. She’s interested not only in their experiences in jail or in prison but also in the ripple effect of those experiences on parenting, housing, and employment. The documentary will also deal with women associated with incarcerated partners, and the responsibilities that these mothers have to handle as temporarily single parents.

Because she successfully crowd-funded the publication of Infamous Mothers, she plans to crowd-fund the documentary as well, with the launch planned for June 20. Sagashus likes the community created by crowd-funding and believes that such wide-based support and buy-in is crucial to her effort to build a company that intentionally works to address such social issues as these: the maternal wall, the achievement and opportunity gaps, and the pay gap.

As the mission of IMU is to own its place as an education and media company that produces products and services “for women who mother from the edge,” Sagashus hopes to fulfill the very rigorous certification process that allows the company to be listed as a Certified B Corporation. This new business model balances “purpose and profit” by considering the way business decision-making affects “workers, suppliers, community, and the environment.” Her determination to build IMU in such a fashion reflects Sagashus’s determination to better the lives of mothers.

The Women of Reform Judaism (WRJ) mission statement says, in part, that Temple Sisterhoods will advocate for and promote progressive Jewish values.

TBE Sisterhood tries to achieve that goal in a variety of ways. For many years, we have provided assistance to women and children in temporary residence at the YWCA. We have supported those receiving services because of domestic abuse. This year we collected donations of feminine products to help those in need at the Grace Episcopal Shelter. We provided new socks for men, women, and children who are served by Madison’s homeless shelters. We donated graham crackers, juice boxes, and other snacks for the kids at Emerson School. Members of the Sisterhood also tutored some of those students. We collected cleaning supplies for homeless families who recently moved into their own homes. And we joined with others from TBE to make lunches for the kids so they would have food during the Madison schools' spring break.

It is a mitzvah for our Sisterhood members to help those who are less fortunate than we are, and we continue to take this task seriously.

As a teacher in the Temple Beth El Jewish education program, I have had the privilege of knowing a great many thoughtful, smart, and caring young people. This year’s Confirmation Class is no exception. As they prepare for their ceremony in June, it has become clear that these students care about extending their own personal Jewish experiences, but the focus goes beyond solely their own interests.

Like many confirmation classes, this is a group who has known each other for years, studying together in religious school, experiencing each others’ b’nai mitzvah, and supporting each other throughout. I’m proud to say that I have known all these students for many years, and they are truly remarkable.

The confirmation ceremony is very special to the Beth El community. Its intention is to commemorate the Jewish life these students have chosen to live, a life that extends beyond b’nai mitzvah, typically at age 13. These young people are currently students at Midrasha, or they work at Beth El in the religious school program as madrichim. Still others are completing independent study into Jewish life, or they hold leadership positions within our Temple Youth Group.

Regardless of the many ways that qualify them, what is common about all of these students is their incredible empathy. During a day-long retreat, as a group this class decided that their confirmation ceremony would include the bar mitzvah of one of their classmates who had yet to celebrate this simcha. In addition, their class gift to Beth El, a bowl & pitcher for washing, speaks to the students’ sympathy for mourners who enter Temple and interest in caring for them with this meaningful gesture.

Temple Beth El’s Confirmation ceremony is a choice we give our teenagers to make. When asked to explain why they chose to participate in this ceremony that celebrates the continuation of their Jewish lives, this is how some of the students responded:

”It shows everyone how awesome we are.”--Ben Gustafson

“Confirmation allows me to feel connected to my faith and my peers in a meaningful way.”--Zoe Byer-Wein

“It [preparation for Confirmation, to include a day-long retreat] has been a great experience for all of us, because we have all known each other for a very long time, and we all want to continue our Jewish path together.”--Ian Staresinic

I believe Ian’s comment states it best: our community’s future must care for each other in order to take care of themselves. Jewish values of tikkun olam and tzedakah are being lived through the example of this confirmation class.

TBE Confirmation Class of 5779

Zoe Byer-Wein
Ben Daly
Ari Greenlee
Benny Gustafson
Jessie Kahn
Aviva Kinsey
Ben Magenheim
Nikko Schneiderman
Ian Staresinic

Shavuah tov from Eastern Europe.

Our itinerary this past Friday included major religious sites in the city of Budapest. We visited the cathedral of Saint Stephens, located on the western side of the city, and then we visited to synagogues on the eastern side, one being the very famous Donany orthodox synagogue, the other being Beit Orim (house of lights) synagogue, liberal congregation, where we worshipped on Friday evening.

The Dohany synagogue is more of a museum than a synagogue, though there is a worship group that meets regularly for prayer. The building is beautiful, located in a fashionable part of town, and attracts visitors from around the world.

The Beit Orim congregation is an active thought dying congregation connected to the World Union for Progressive Judaism. The congregation meets on Friday evenings and most Saturday mornings for worship and Torah study, and uses the building of the local Jewish community center. Our group was warmly welcomed into this congregation on Friday evening, and Rabbi Raj (pronounced ‘roy’) invited me to offer a few impromptu words to his congregation. The service lasted about one hour and 15 minutes long, and we enjoyed a beautiful and festive Oneg Shabbat afterwards.

Because of the political squabbles between the different parts of the local Jewish community, this congregation is dying and may not survive another year. The Orthodox community receives most if not all government funding for religious institutions, and, as the way things go, does not share much with the progressive community. At some point I will speak about this issue. But suffice to say that this is a fractured Jewish community.

Saturday, We drove to the city of Kraków, Poland, to prepare ourselves to meet members of the Jewish community there, tour the concentration camp complex of Auschwitz and Birkenau, and continued to learn more about the Jewish experience in Poland and eastern Europe.

Wednesday May 8, Our Day in Terezin

Our bus traveled an hour north of Prague to the concentration camp named Terezin. This place is a former military fortress that served as a “model” concentration camp the Nazis used to conceal the horrors of the Final Solution.

The springtime scenery is patterned with fields of canola plants, the bright yellow petals that you see in the photo. The beauty and calm of that country ride was shadowed by the infamy of Terezin as a place where hundreds of thousands of people died during the Holocaust.

Formerly a walled army garrison built in the late 1700’s and then called Theresienstadt, it was intended to protect bridges over the nearby Ohre and Elbe Rivers from military attack, and its citadel and castle structure once housed more than 5,000 soldiers in preparation for war. Oddly enough, the fortress never came under military attack.

In the mid-1800’s, it became a prison, and then specifically a military prison during WW I. It was not until the Nazi invasion of this region, known as the Sudetenland (because many ethnic Germans lived there), that the area came under the interest of the Gestapo to create a concentration camp on that site. From 1939-1941, there was much construction work to accommodate the thousands of inmates that they anticipated coming there.

The most shocking facet of Terezin is its history as a “model” concentration camp. The Nazis shielded from the world their Final Solution by enabling the International Red Cross (ICRC) to inspect the camp and see how ‘pleasant’ life was for those interned there. The Jewish inmates were forced to create counterfeit social and intellectual lives consisting of concerts and orchestras, soccer leagues and matches, lectures and other aspects of a ‘normal’ life only for the benefit of the ICRC’s visit. The reality is that more than 33,000 people died in the town from population density, disease, and malnutrition. Terezin is preserved today as a museum and living reminder of the terrors of the Holocaust, and a memorial to those who lived and died there.

Full capacity of the town of Terezin is around 6,000, yet at times there were more than 60,000 Jews of  various ages living there. That is the reason that so many people died from malnutrition and disease.

At the site there are two large cemeteries, each honoring both the Jewish and non-Jewish victims of the Nazi war machines. There is also a crematorium where the Nazis destroyed the sacred vessels/bodies of Jews and others who had died.

This was a somber day for us who visited this place today. Oddly enough, our visit today took place on the anniversary of the victory over the Nazis in Europe, which was May 8, 1945

Do you have some free time? We have lots of great opportunities to help out in our community.

• On Tuesday, April 30, you can help serve families at the Multicultural Dinner at Emerson School (then have some delicious international food yourself!) Sign up at http://signup.com/go/qbbNsTD.
• On Wednesday, May 29, you can shop, bake, cook, or serve dinner for the Porchlight Shelter program. Sign up at https://signup.com/go/CoxuSvR.
• This summer, join our group of dedicated tutors helping children from the refugee family supported by TBE volunteers and Jewish Social Services. Contact Sherie Sondel at sherie.sondel@gmail.com for more information.
• Any time, at your convenience: Scrapbookers wanted! Are you good with design and decoration? Able to post the occasional poster or photo? The Social Action Committee bulletin board by the office is sadly neglected and needs some love. Contact Marcia Vandercook at marcia.vandercook@gmail.com—you will be surprised at the level of heartfelt appreciation you receive!

On April 12, the Social Action Committee welcomed Madison author Sagashus Levingston, author of the book Infamous Mothers, to speak at our Social Action Shabbat. Ms. Levingston shared stories from her book about marginalized mothers, reflecting the humanity and value of women who have overcome incredible challenges, including poverty, addiction, and imprisonment. She also talked about her current work supporting women on a long-term basis once they begin to turn their lives around. She offers online support and other services at https://www.infamousmothers.com. More than 70 Temple Beth El members attended the dinner and talk, and stayed to ask questions afterward.

On May 11 at 7:45 pm, Wisconsin Faith Voices for Justice will co-sponsor the third annual interfaith iftar, with Edgewood College and Muslim Women United for Peace. This potluck event takes place at Edgewood College’s Edgedome, 1000 Edgewood College Avenue. Please bring a dish to share (please no pork, shellfish, or alcohol), and be prepared for an evening of fun, learning, and fellowship!

To RSVP, sign up to bring a dish, and/or volunteer to help out, please go to http://evite.me/jtRZxfn6XV. This event is free and open to the public.

Have you ever wondered why many people released from prison find it difficult to succeed? The acclaimed Returning Prisoner Simulation developed by Madison Urban Ministry offers a close-up view of what it’s like to come home from prison, inserting participants into realistic scenarios and lifelike struggles that formerly incarcerated persons are likely to encounter.

This workshop begins with an introduction to the principles of Restorative Justice and explains the basic needs of people returning from prison. Each participant receives a mock profile that describes the life of a particular person, and takes on the role of that character during a brief role-play. Participants must complete fundamental life tasks, such as finding housing and a job, or simply cashing a check, opening a glimpse into the sense of overwhelming frustration that newly-released prisoners often feel.

Participants have the opportunity to debrief and share their immediate reactions. The simulation concludes with a panel of formerly incarcerated people who share their own re-entry journeys and answer questions from participants.

To join in a journey of understanding and reconciliation, sign up for this eye-opening program here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/returning-prisoner-simulation-tickets-59333971506.

As a special benefit, Madison Urban Ministry is making this valuable program available to us on the basis of voluntary donations. Donations of $5 to $50 are appreciated, or you can attend for free by serving as a volunteer. Volunteers can sign up here: https://www.signupgenius.com/go/10c054ca4aa2da1f85-returning1.

“It was a real eye-opener for me. I’ve heard that it’s difficult for former prisoners to re-establish themselves in the community, but I had no idea until I tried.”

—Wisconsin Circuit Court Judge

This program is sponsored by the TBE Urgency of Now Action Team on Racial Disparities in the Criminal Justice System.

Photo by Hila Shiloni

It was pre-dawn in Jerusalem on Friday, March 8.

I was in Israel with a small group of leaders from Women of Reform Judaism. We had timed our trip to participate in the Women of the Wall (WOW) 30th anniversary celebration. And now we were on our way to the WOW monthly Rosh Chodesh service at the Kotel—the Western Wall.

We had been warned that this would not be a typical Rosh Chodesh service. Knowing that the 30th anniversary would bring women from around the country and around the world, the ultra-Orthodox (Haredi) leadership had mounted a campaign to undermine and ultimately disrupt this celebration. We knew that Haredi students were being transported to the Kotel, to arrive ahead of our 7:00 am service, to fill the women’s section and prevent us from praying.

But nothing could have prepared us for the reality.

That early morning, four of us arrived together at the Kotel and found the women’s section packed with Haredi high school girls. As we approached, a WOW supporter on the periphery told us there was no room—it was impossible to reach the service in the middle of the crowd. But we joined hands, made a human chain, and began pushing through the crowd. Haredi girls blocked our way, tried to pull us apart, and did all they could to prevent us from joining our group.

It was one of most frightening short walks I have ever made.

We reached the service location, but it became immediately clear that there would be no joyful praying that morning. I never even took my WOW siddur from my backpack.

Our women had formed a circle around our prayer leaders to try to protect them from hands reaching for their tallitot, their kippot, and their siddurim. The Haredi girls around us were shoving, kicking, shouting. It seemed very possible that someone would be pushed to the ground and trampled.

During all of this, the police were absent.

As we had approached the Torah service, we learned that it was too dangerous to bring out the Torah that had been smuggled in for this purpose. The violence was escalating, and the WOW leaders decided that we would relocate to the rudimentary egalitarian worship space at Robinson’s Arch. As soon as this decision was made, dozens of police appeared and made a path to escort us out of the mob. At Robinson’s Arch, our heartbeats finally began to return to normal. We were able to draw the first deep breath in over an hour.

We finished our service with joy, singing, and dancing. Unbelievably.

What might be the impact of our experience? Might this level of violence finally goad the Israeli government into honoring their agreement to create an appropriate egalitarian worship space, one that is not under the jurisdiction of the ultra-Orthodox rabbinate?

Traumatic as it was, some feel that this could be a turning point in the struggle.

To be clear: the struggle is not just about the Western Wall. The struggle is about who controls marriages, divorces, conversions. It is about who is considered to be a rabbi in Israel, who is to be considered a Jew. It is about being able to live an authentic, non-Orthodox life in the Holy Land, something we take for granted in North America. And someday—yes—we may be able to pray as a women’s community at the Western Wall.

Ken Y’hi ratzon.

Our Temple Beth El community has continued to support the family from the Congo that we helped Jewish Social Services resettle in May 2018. It is inspiring to see what this amazing, hardworking, appreciative family has accomplished in less than a year, and we are honored to assist them. TBE members Linda Reivitz, Deb Giesfeldt, Nancy Brower, Suzanne Wolf, Lynn Silverman, and Erica Serlin have been tutoring the three older girls in reading, writing, and English at their school. This would not have been possible without the incredibly helpful books donated by the Field family business, Books 4 School. Cathy Rotter and Mary Fulton have been delivering household goods that the family cannot purchase with FoodShare vouchers. If you are interested in participating or helping with any of these efforts, please contact Sherie Sondel.

As part of the Sisterhood Shabbat on January 25, a call went out for donation of graham crackers and juice boxes to stock the health office at Emerson School. The Emerson School nurses say that when children feel unwell and come to the nurse’s office, their discomfort is often magnified by the fact that they’re hungry.

Sisterhood responded with its usual generosity, collecting an entire carload of snacks! These supplies are enough to provide comfort for children through the end of the school year.

Support for Emerson School is part of an ongoing collaboration of the three Madison Jewish congregations, Temple Beth El, Beth Israel Center, and Congregation Shaarei Shamayim. The three congregations also provide academic support through reading and math tutors. If you are interested in helping, please contact Marcia Vandercook at marcia.vandercook@gmail.com.

The Urgency of Now Immigrant Action Team invites you to join us on Tuesday, April 3, for an engaging and inspiring evening called “Words of Worth: Letters to the Border.”

We will begin with an introduction to the crisis on our southern border by staff and volunteers from the Community Immigration Law Clinic, including staff immigration attorney Aissa Olivarez, volunteer attorney Kris Rasmussen, volunteer coordinator Leah Durst-Lee, student volunteer Karen Perez-Wilson, and Marin Smith, fundraising and development intern. They will share their experiences witnessing the terrible conditions in which men, women, and children are being detained, and why outside support is so important to the well-being of detainees and immigrants.

The talk will be followed by the opportunity to respond in a helpful and immediate way. We will provide participants with letter-writing supplies, including sample English and Spanish letters and phrases to incorporate. Letters can be written in English, Spanish, or some combination with the help of the samples provided. The cards and letters will be sent to current detainees, immigrants awaiting court hearings, and staff and volunteers at the border. From similar programs around the country, we understand that reading these encouraging words and knowing that we care about their plight will instill hope in the recipients.

Light refreshments and letter-writing supplies will be provided. The program will run from 7:00 to 9:00 pm in the Frank Adult Lounge at Temple Beth El. If you can join us, please

RSVP here.

If you are interested in getting involved with the UON Immigrant Action Team, please contact one of our co-chairs, Erica Serlin at ericar.serl@gmail.com, Lynn Silverman at lynns3869@gmail.com, or Marta Karlov at mokarlov2@gmail.com.

On Friday, April 12, 2019, the Social Action Committee is honored to host a special Shabbat featuring Madison author Sagashus Levingston, author of the book Infamous Mothers. In the program, she will share stories of marginalized mothers, reflecting the humanity and value of women who have overcome incredible challenges, “women who’ve gone through the belly of hell and brought something good back.” Join us as we learn more these mothers and the context around their narratives, with the goal of building community and new alliances.

This program is part of TBE’s yearlong collective focus on principles of derech eretz, where we consider the way we conduct ourselves in this world and the need for mutual respect with other people. This Shabbat program focuses on the humanity of people often marginalized by our society and highlights the strength and dignity they bring to raising their children.

The evening will begin with a 6:00 pm service including the Temple Beth El choir. At 7:00 pm there will be a delicious dinner catered by Banzo, followed by the program and Oneg Shabbat at 7:40 pm. You are welcome to join us for any part of the evening.

Please RSVP by April 3.

Many authors and philosophers across time have offered a version of “Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it.” A partial list would include George Santayana[1]; Edmund Burke[2]; young adult author Sara Shepard[3]; and even Kurt Vonnegut[4], who said it in his backhand, cynical fashion: “We're doomed to repeat the past no matter what. That's what it is to be alive.”

I believe that the original source is our own Israelite patriarch Jacob.

We find this thought in the Torah portion Vayechi, that closes the book of Genesis, as Jacob confers blessings upon his sons. Jacob can’t help but point out the flaws in his children’s characters and implies that they can set a better course for their descendants only when they recognize their faults and make changes in their lives. It is his last act before he dies.

The Torah narrative in the last two portions of Vayigash and Vayechi (which we read over the last two weeks) presents us with a number of resolutions of the issues surrounding Jacob’s family:

his children are now reunited;

their sibling animosities are on the way toward some kind of peaceful solution;

Jacob’s younger son Joseph has solidified his role as vizier of Egypt;

and Jacob’s family is well on their way toward becoming a comfortable, prosperous even, minority amid the teeming masses of the Egyptian populace.

Such a conclusion could itself have been the dream fulfillment of any immigrant family in their new homes. Jacob undoubtedly was a proud patriarch seeing his children and descendants grow in size and influence.

Why, then, is Jacob so sad? Let me tell you what I mean.

* * * *

In the parashah of Vayigash, Joseph brings his father Jacob to an audience with the Pharaoh, certainly a moment of special honor. Yet when the supreme ruler of Egypt asks Jacob his age, Jacob turns negative. He is not offended by the question, but what comes out of his mouth indicates curmudgeonly sorrow.

“Well, if you must know,” says Jacob, “I am 130 years old, but my life has been miserable and of little significance. I have attained nothing like my fathers before me.” The Pharaoh likely didn’t like having a naysayer in the court, so he accepts a perfunctory blessing from Jacob, then moves on to other court business, never to see the Israelite patriarch again.

Jacob’s response to the Pharaoh represents, perhaps, the bluntest of post-mortems that we might imagine. And Jacob is also cynical in Vayechi, the next week’s portion, where he offers to his sons his deathbed blessings, compounding his negative feelings about his own life, with his candid appraisal of his children’s achievements.

Jacob says to Reuben, ‘O my first born, you made me feel strong and vigorous. I had such hopes for you. But you slept with my wife’s concubine while I was away—you thought I’d never find out—and so you will amount to nothing.’[5]

Then Jacob turns to Shimon and Levi, and berates them for their massacre of the people of Sh’chem after the rape of their sister Dinah. ‘Taking justice into your own hands is not the way of the world. I don’t even want to know you.’

Jacob’s blessings to the other sons are not so negative, but he does not mince words: he identifies their character flaws in the hope of staving off further questionable behavior. Based on their demonstrated bad behavior, he implies that past is prologue, and that his sons are doomed to repeat the past mistakes unless they straighten out their crooked lives.

* * * *

Hearing Jacob’s cynical expressions in these two Torah portions might encourage us to wonder about the legacy that we will leave behind when we depart this world. In the moments of clarity before we die, will we offer a negative assessment like Jacob, that our lives ‘have been miserable and of little consequence’, and that we ‘have attained nothing like our ancestors before us’; or will we find reason to say, ‘it was a good run all-in-all, and – all things considered – we are satisfied.’

As the calendar year of 2018 concludes, our thoughts might turn to this question. Indeed, every day—with every word we utter and every action that we perform—we should bear in mind not only the immediate consequences but also the possible long-term ramifications of our words and deeds.

What, indeed, will be the examples that we set for others? What will be the legacy that we leave behind?

* * * *

I am reading, perhaps for the second time, Ray Bradbury’s novel “Something Wicked This Way Comes”. Originally published in 1962, it is a brilliant mixture of horror and science fiction in a classic battle of Good vs Evil, and it has recently been republished with notes and essays by contemporary sci-fi and horror authors. I would like to share with you a small segment of his book, because it presents us with a suggestion of how one contemplates the legacy to be passed down to future descendants.

A father and son, engrossed in solving their immediate problem, engage in this brief exchange trying to understand how we should evaluate our lives.

In the book, Will, the twelve-year-old protagonist, asks:

“Dad…are you a good person?”

“To you and your mother, yes, I try. But no man’s a hero to himself. I've lived with me a lifetime. I know everything worth knowing about myself…and adding it all up, yes, I'm all right.”

“Then dad”, asked Will, “why aren't you happy?”

And here is the father’s sagacious answer:

“Sometimes the man who looks happiest in town, with the biggest smile, is the one carrying the biggest load of sin. There are smiles and smiles; learn to tell the dark variety from the light. The seal-barker, the laugh-shouter, half the time he's covering up. He's had his fun, and he's guilty. And men do love sin, oh how they love it, never doubt, in all shapes, sizes, colors, and smells. Times come when troughs, not tables, suit our appetites. Hear a man too loudly praising others and look to wonder if he didn't just get up from the sty.

“On the other hand, that unhappy, pale, put-upon man walking by, who looks all guilt and sin, why, often that's your good man with a capital ‘G.’ For being good is a fearful occupation; men strain at it and sometimes break in two. I've known a few. You work twice as hard to be a farmer as to be his hog. I suppose it's thinking about trying to be good makes the crack run up the wall one night. A man with high standards, too, the least hair falls on him sometimes wilts his spine. He can't let himself alone, won't lift himself off the hook if he falls just a breath from grace.”[6]

In the past year, have we been good people? Have we worked hard at it? Have we been mindful of the ways we have affected other people?

Have we always chosen the right word for the right occasion, or have we let our emotions rule our tongues? Have we exhibited too much braggadocio; have our demeanors been humble and unassuming; or have we found a healthy compromise between the two, in a place where we have, like Rabbi Salanter of our Mussar tradition, asked for ‘no more than our space, and no less than our place’?

We know that the legacy we ultimately leave behind in the world does not necessarily consist of possessions or wealth, but rather in the way we approach the world and its complex set of personalities and situations, and in the way we treat other people. Rabbi Salanter commends to us an unpretentious and self-effacing life. But he reminds us, too, that we also have a place which belongs to us and of which no one should deprive us. Finding a life which leads to both, or a balance of the two, should be our goal. We must live with mindfulness and sensitivity, so that we don’t take up more room on the planet than we’re due, but that we also don’t lose our individual human dignity.

Returning to our pair of Torah portions that conclude the book of Genesis, we observe the way in which Jacob establishes his legacy: He offers it in the blessings he gives to others. In this way, he teaches us something about what we need to possess, and what we can give away.

In the Torah, Jacob has become ill; he lies on his deathbed, and his son Joseph and his grandchildren Ephraim and Menasheh come to visit. And Jacob takes this opportunity to offer his fatherly blessings to Joseph and his sons; they are the first to receive these blessings.

The Torah tells us that “this is the way Jacob blessed Joseph” … and Jacob proceeds to bless his grandchildren, not Joseph. He does bless Joseph, but not directly.

He says, “May the god in whose ways my fathers Abraham and Isaac walked; the god who has been my shepherd from my birth to this day; the messenger who has redeemed me from all harm: bless these youths (referring to Ephraim and Menasheh). In them may my name be recalled. And the names of my fathers Abraham and Isaac, and may they be teeming multitudes upon the earth.”

Jacob demonstrates that through his grandchildren—in all that their father has accomplished, and in every act that they will achieve in their lives to come—through his grandchildren will Joseph also come to be a blessing.

Perhaps this is a clue about why we, in the Jewish community, focus so intently upon our children. It is through them that we might better see our values lived out, that is, what we have taught them, and the priorities they have toward the world.

In the imagery of Ray Bradbury, a person who has striven with the world; someone who has, perhaps, been broken by their experiences yet is still walking and present in the world: it is through these people that goodness is perceived and properly evaluated.

Perhaps Jacob’s cynical words to Pharaoh, then, were not a skeptical commentary on his misfortunes. They were honest feelings, to be sure, but perhaps they represented the scars that Joseph acquired in his lifetime quest to instill decent values in his children.

In this quest, Jacob likely succeeded, for the Torah relates that his family carried on their traditions by burying their patriarch using the customs of the land of Israel, alongside Egyptian burial traditions. Both the native traditions, and the assimilated practices of their foreign home, were used. Overall, the descendants of Jacob, living in a foreign land and waiting to be brought back to the land that God promised to them, maintained their family practices and institutions, while assimilating some parts of their new culture.

A challenge for us to ponder as the year closes and a new one begins is this: Will we learn to mindfully discover how best to bequeath blessings to our physical and spiritual descendants, and remain upbeat and hopeful about the future?

I wish us all success.

[1] George Santayana (1863-1952) “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”

[2] Edmund Burke (1729-1797) “Those who don't know history are destined to repeat it.”

[3] Sara Shepard (b. 1977) “Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it”

[4] Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007) “We're doomed to repeat the past no matter what. That's what it is to be alive. It's pretty dense kids who haven't figured that out by the time they're ten....

[5] Genesis 35:22

[6] Bradbury, Ray. “Something Wicked This Way Comes”. Simon and Schuster Paperbacks. Copyright 1962, 1980, 1997, by Ray Bradbury, page 124-125.